Homemade Baby Wipes

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There are so many times when I run out of wipes and am in deep shit {literally} or simply don’t want to wipe poo off of my girls ass with dollar bills & throw them away- which is essentially what we are all doing. I decided to make my own baby wipes!! You should too! Here is what you need:

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I used the viva select a size because I feel that the smallest piece is the perfect wipe size. It’s also worth mentioning that you must buy high quality paper towels so they don’t fall apart. I’ve read that bounty is best but viva is what I buy for my household.

So simple to make!!
Cut paper towel in half.

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** if you are a cloth mommy, cut squares of old receiving blankets and stack them in a container**

Heat water. This step prevents a musty odor and molding from taking place.
I placed 2 1/4 cups of water in a bowl & microwaved it for about 2 minutes. You could stove top it too of you’d prefer.
Next add your ingredients to the bowl of hot water.

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2 tablespoons of baby wash.

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1 tablespoon of baby oil, or any mineral oil that you’d prefer.

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*optional* I added lotion to mine. 1 tablespoon for more moisture and scent.

Now mix it all together gently.

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Those clumps are fine.

Place paper towels cut side down in a container. Im using an old wipe container. {It’s ok if it’s too short, your wipes will later smoosh down to size}
Pour mixture on top.

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Let sit & absorb for a minute and remove cardboard center. This is easier to remove when wet.

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Now smoosh it down into your container.

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And pull the first wipe from the center of the roll through the opening.

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You can repeat the process and use the other half of the roll to make 2 batches. I’m saving mine for another recipe.
Here is what a wipe looks like next to a store bought one.

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They are a bit smaller but I find that I use wipes for everything including wiping noses and hands so I feel as though I’m wasting a big piece with the store brand. And because they are select-a-size, I can always use more for a poopy mess.
For approximately 100 wipes, it cost around $1!!!

Putting them to the test on an oreo & snot face.

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“Wipe your nose Brynlee”20121016-154610.jpg
She loves them! On her head…

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She insisted I take her socks off so she could clean her feet…

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Bahaa! Even as I write this 10 minutes later, she’s STILL cleaning her entire body with the wipe! Love her to bits!!

Let me know if you have any questions or if you’ve made them before and have any tips!!
Happy saving those pennies mommies!!!
💋Leanna

Canvas Finger-Painting Project!

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Pinterest is such a lovely place to discover awesome things to do with your kids! I think I’m pretty darn crafty and creative but pinterest is like a melting pot of thousands of “me’s”… And I LOVE it. I’m a member of my towns MOMS Club and I decided to host an awesome canvas finger painting playdate.

Here’s what you need:

Canvas~
Purchase any size canvas youd like. I got mine at Pat Catans for about 6 bucks. I wanted a long one to fit her name better. They sell different shapes and sizes and two packs as well. If your wanting to go cheaper they have 8×11 ones for like $3.

Masking tape~
To tape off a name, monogram, word, nickname.. Anything!! It was a buck.

Finger paints~
Washable, non-toxic. About $3-$4

A Child~
Preferably with fingers, toes and feet work best for teeny babies 🙂 Pricele$$

10 bucks for this awesome craft!? Can’t beat that!! So wonderful!!!

Ok so now it’s time to tape on your word and get to painting! I used my daughters name, Brynlee, and taped off little hearts. ❤

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This mommy had a great idea!!!20121009-133534.jpg
So much fun!!!

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Paint’s not makeup silly!!!20121009-133856.jpg

Some moms chose the word LOVE, one mom did the word FALL with fall colors and painted a real leaf onto her canvas. It was beautiful! I’ll post their pictures soon!
Here’s miss B’s finished project…

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eFF you, October 3rd!!

FFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!!
….
…..
….


Ok, I had to get that out of my system…

Brynlee didn’t sleep well last night, therefore neither did I. When I’m tired I’m a raging psychopathic bitch-zilla. Like a creature from the depths of hell..
Just ask baby daddy.
I’m like that of I’m hungry too..
anyway, I reluctantly dragged myself out of my cozy warm bed this morning to find a grumpy toddler crying and poop… EVERYWHERE!
It was terrible. I’m certain you’ve all been there a time or two. Here’s what it looked like…

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I clean her up. Make breakfast and coffee. Lots of coffee. I had an appointment today at the vagina doctor to renew my birth control pills.
Get out the door, late as usual and of course I get stuck behind an old geezer going 10 under the speed limit. Then he turns {thank you sweet Jesus}!!!
But then.. I get every fucking red light. Every. Single. One.
Then we run behind a cop car and everyone is too much of a pussy to pass him. Seriously!? You can go one mile over the speed limit and pass a cop. He won’t pull you over. I promise.

With about 4 minutes to spare Brynlee starts to whine. Then gag. Then…. Oh no- projectile vomit. Again- EVERYWHERE!
I’ll spare you the visual… But this is a pretty accurate portrayal of what it looked like.

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Fuck my life.

I one armed it- you know driving with one arm, cleaning her up with wipes behind me, and trying to talk sweet mommy talk to calm her down.

We park, get her out. Thank GOD I had some spare clothes in the car.
Check in, go to the bathroom, change her… More diarrhea. Fill out paperwork and oh an hour later I get called back.

{this is what she looked like- haha}

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Bless Brynlees little soul… she was such a good girl the whole time! So the nurse comes in she goes over my history.. Blah blah.. And says – oh I see you have ocular migraines?
Yes.
I’ve checked off migraines every year for the past 8 years. EIGHT YEARS!

Well you can’t take an estrogen containing birth control such as the pill or ring. You could have a stroke. You’re lucky that you are healthy!
Are you fucking kidding me right now!?

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You mean to tell me that for eight years I’ve been on this shit and you’ve NEVER cared to tell me this information. That every single year I check mark the migraine box and I could have stroked out at any moment? That those bad drug commercials could have been contacted by my mother or boyfriend because I stroked out and turned into an effing vegetable because your stupid, incompetent ass holes can’t read an medical history chart!!!!!
WTF!?
Thank the LORD I dodged that bullet!
So my only options for birth control were an IUD{I don’t want anything implanted into my vagina except a penis or a tampon, and sometimes not even those}, the mini pill {I can’t remember to take a pill everyday let alone within the same 15 minute window everyday-no thank you}, or the Depo shot { one shot every 3 months, no periods- yes please!!}

So I got the shot….

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Yay! I love being immune to sperm!! My arm hurts like hell though. Like it was mulled by a pack of monkeys. Or impaled by a pole.. Yeah that’s exactly how it feels right now.

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No joke.
So now my poor sweet girl is sick 😦 her belly is all rumbly. I gave her a bath and tried to lay ger down but all she wants to do is cuddle with her mommy and watch bubble guppies. The doctor says its a virus and will run its course in 3-5 days.

*SIGH*
That was my day… And I still have to go to work tonight.
Its pretty sad that I’m looking forward to my escape though. Sometimes a mom just needs to get away.
Or wine.
I need wine.

***Update** so, it’s been over a week since I got the shot and I already don’t like it :(. The doctor never informed me of the side affects other than weight gain, and pregnancy like symptoms. I had no idea what poison I was putting into my body!! I googled it and could not find one person who liked it. Please share your depo story with me!!!****

My adult acne cure

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I’m about to turn 28 in November- {11-11 make a wish!} As a teenager I rarely had issues with acne. I always had smooth, alabaster skin … I was a lucky little bitch. I maybe got a chin zit right before my period.. Maybe. The worst thing that happened to me was on my 16th birthday I had poison ivy all down my neck-and that’s not even acne related!!

It all started may 5th, 2010. It was a sun-shiny morning, i was 25, and I was awaiting the arrival of my aunt flow. I had noticed over the last day or two that I had an acne like rash on my right chin. … Apparently I have two chins. I mean, the right side of my chin. It slowly creeped up to my cheek and it was a monster. I had a bad bad feeling. I took a pregnancy test and the very second a drop of my pee landed on the strip I saw a blue little plus sign.
*Gulp*
My entire world started to spin and I couldnt breathe and I was in severe panic mode. What the did I do!?
Well… We all know the answer to that.

Sex.

Fast forward 7 months-
I’m a now calm and overly joyed expectant mother…
… Well, as happy as I could be waddling around with an extra 40lbs of baby and placenta swimming around my mid-section, boobs, and ass. I swear I had tripplets in there.
I inquired about my acne to my doctor and he said it would go away post-partum. All my friends said- ooooohhhh you’re having a giiiirrrlllll… Girls steal your beauty!!!

That little bitch.

So here I am 2 years later and the acne rash has taken over my entire face. Both cheeks, both chins, and my forehead. My doctor lied to me.
Then last thing I tried was a months worth of proactive. If you can get through the pain and redness of the first week it actually did help a little. 🙂

About three weeks ago I noticed this weird oval-shaped rash under my armpit. I googled it, like I do everything, and am fairly certain it’s ringworm.

I know, gross.

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I have no idea how I got it and I’m far from a sweaty wrestler so I’m at a loss. I purchased jock itch cream and became a scary mad woman about applying it. I was obsessively washing everything- sheets, towels, blankets, clothes, and my body. My entire body was itchy, even my scalp. I began googling scalp ringworm and saw scary images of people with bald patches and for someone with hair down my last rib, I was terrified to say the least. Im sure that all of this was psychologically induced but I even strarted to fear it was on my face. I read that a dandruff shampoo helps with scalp ringworm and overall body ringworm.

So I began to shower with ‘head and shoulders’, and wash my hair and face with it. Id then mix the anti fungal cream in my moisturizer, body and face and apply after every shower. I mixed it in my liquid foundation on the days I wore makeup- usually for work 4 nights a week. And after I washed my face off at night I’d slather more cream on before bed.
I wouldn’t even let my baby daddy touch me! He thought I had lost my mind.

But now I feel better. It’s slowly fading under my arm, and my face is clearing up!! All the zits are getting smaller and the redness is going away!!! I started to think… Is anti fungal cream a cure for acne?
So I googled it.
“anti fungal cream cures acne”

click here to see what I found!

You don’t have to click it if you don’t want to.. But I thought I’d give credit where it’s due.

Basically the last two ‘crazy acne cures’ are-
Dandruff shampoo and anti fungal cream!!

This is what I’ve been using…

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Who knew!?

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I wash my face with the shampoo.

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Here you can see the acne is still present but it has SIGNIFICANTLY improved! The redness and size have diminished a great deal!!

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I don’t have before pictures 😦 I tried to hide all documentation of my face without makeup, but I promise to update with more pictures if and when I clears completely!

I add it to my makeup and moisturizer too.

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This is my foundation, cream & moisturizer.

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Do you see any acne?

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I’m eFFing pumped about it!!
I will continue my anti funga/anti dandruff/regemin and update again. It’s been about two weeks and I can’t even believe how quickly it’s clearing up.
If anyone out there is struggling I say give it a try!

There are a few other unconventional ways as well through that link you should check out too.

Hope this helps someone out there 🙂
Have a fantastic day everyone.

💋Leanna

Fabulousness to come….!

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It’s 3:04 am. I’m wide awake watching ‘blues clues’ .. And I dont want to be.
Our night was normal.. I got home from work, showered, read my baby some bed time stories and blissfully entered dream land to the sound of the rain and a cool breeze outside our bedroom window.

Fast forward to 2am. Brynlee is crying hard! Like the kind of over-tired, cant catch my breath, blood curdling scream, nothing is going to make me better, cry.

I did everything I could think of. Rocked her, shushed her, sang to her, gave her her puppy, her favorite ball, her sippy, walked and did the mommy bounce, layed her next to her blissfully-unaware-happily sleeping-(birthday)daddy… Nothing worked. Until, I tuned on that little blue puppy and the later to become cool, Indy rocker, Steve burns. {he’s pretty bad ass, you should google him}
🙂
Now she’s asleep and the beautiful orchestra of an autumn nights drizzle is taunting me with its seductive melody… {you’ll soon learn that im obsessed with rain. I love everything about it.., its my favorite!}

So lucky for all of you that its spell hasn’t affected me yet because my brain is still on sleep-deprived mommy mode..
I got to thinking about what awesomely, fabulous, frugal things i’d like to share with all of you. Here are a few things is like to share within the month!!

HOMEMADE:
•baby wipes
•hand sanitizing wipes
•makeup removing/moisturizing wipes
•glass cleaning wipes
•bleach wipes
•baby wash
•body wash
•hand soap
•and lastly, strawberry jam! – I know, random but ive made jam once before and its eFFing phenomenal!!

I have sooooo many more things I’d like to share with all if you! Im open to suggestions if there is something that you’d like to see me do that can help save us all some money!!

The rain is calling my name….
❤Leanna

Introducing Mommy eFFer: Funny, Frugal, & eFFing Fabulous

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Hello and welcome to my blog, an honest and crude look into the joys and no-so-joys of motherhood.
My name is Leanna and I’m a mommy to an incredible little lady, Brynlee❤. She will be two in January!

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I started my blog and Facebook fan pagefor myself as a way to laugh at the stresses of my day, to get out my frustration with a good old eFF bomb, a reason to research things that (p)interest me, while hopefully bringing some light into other mommies’ lives as well. I hope to make you laugh, cry (happy tears), and pee your pants with my fabulousness 😉 If you can’t laugh at yourself and can’t handle my sarcasm or the occasional eFF bomb, then don’t like my page.. BUT if you are looking to find enjoyment out if my misery, want to share mommy advice, are looking for a great craft project, money saving tips, couponing skills, and yummy recipes… Then I’m your girl!!!
Please share the love and tell your friends about me!!
Thanks dolls❤

Homemade Laundry Soap

I’m making a ginormous … wow.. my iphone actually recognizes the word ginormous. Is that even a real word?
Anyway… I’m making a ginormous batch of my homemade laundry soap this weekend to divide amongst my friends and I thought I’d share my recipe for those who’d like to save some money and make their own!!

This is what I bought for my quadruple batch.

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Here is what you will need for one batch.

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1, 4 lb 12 oz box Borax. I found it in the detergent isle at Giant Eagle.

1, 4 lb box Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. I used generic and found it in the cooking isle at Giant Eagle.

1 box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda 55 oz. Really hard to find!! I found it in the detergent isle at Walmart.

3 bars of Fels-Naptha Bar Soap. I found it in the bar soap isle at Giant Eagle.

2 small containers of Oxy Clean or store brand Oxy Clean {try to get about 3.5 lbs, this is optional so it doesn’t have to be exact}

1 container of scent crystals. Since this detergent is mild smelling I like to add a scent booster. You can find laundry crystals in the detergent isle.

This soap works in all washers included HE {you may want to grate the bar soap into a finer consistency or simply pour it directly into the drum}, hot water and cold!

Without the scent booster it is similar to dreft, hypoallergenic and non-irritating to sensitive skin.

Everything cost me about $26

Ok here’s what you do:

Start with the hardest, suckiest part-
Grating your Fels-Naptha soap.

I started to use a cheese grater and realized quickly that that was a dumb idea. This part is the only part that sucks. I don’t have a food processor which would be the easiest meathod, so I used a blender. I chopped the bar into tiny chunks and popped them in two at a time until it turned into teeny chips/powder. Did I mention that this part sucks? Those of you with an HE washer may want to make sure it’s super fine.
***EDIT: after making this several times since, the cheese grater is the BEST option! I’m pretty sure I got my hands on some dried our bars of soap, every time since, the bars are soft and relatively easy to grate. I like to sit and watch TV while doing this!

Chop chop chop!

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Brynlee is mommy’s little helper- scooping the soap into the blender!

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This is what it looks like before you mix it with the other shit.

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{Fels-Naptha will dissolve in your washer even if you only use cold water}

Toss all ingredients in the biggest bucket/ container you have. This part makes your whole house smell great and your nose may feel like a crack heads’ after a few minutes. But don’t worry, you wont get too high..
Unless you want to.

Mix it all up and store it in a pretty container 🙂

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I also up-cycled the scent booster containers by simply peeling off the label. These are a great way to package them up as gifts. They hold 64 loads.

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This recipe makes 2 gallons of soap or 512 one tablespoon loads.
If my baby or baby daddy is extra messy, I’ll use two tablespoons. I use an old baby formula scoop.. It’s petfect!

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I know it doesn’t seem like a lot but TRUST ME- this is a concentrated powder and doesn’t contain any fillers that the name brands contain.

If you use one tablespoon per load, washed 5 loads a week, this would last you TWO YEARS!!!
Insane.

Enjoy!!

Please feel free to ask any questions!!!
•••please note that this soap will not produce suds like you may be used to. Dont be alarmed it works amazingly well!!

Just this week I’ve put it to the test on a TON of baby vomit and diarrhea- everything came out so so clean!!!•••

do not use for washing cloth diapers. The baking soda reduces absorbency within the cloth.