Two Month Weigh In

start-over

Ugh.. Up and down, up and down. I hate the roller-coaster. I’m so sick of this!

I’ve been putting off this post.. On weigh in day {Dec 11} I was down a few pounds but short from my 195 lb goal.. The week before I had FINALLY made it to 199 and I was super pumped about it. I said to myself I’d never see the 200’s ever again.. ….

Boy, was I wrong!

It’s just frustrating. I know this will take time and I’m ok that. That’s why it’s my journey. Otherwise, it’d be called my ‘stroll around the block’. This is just part of the trip. I’ve tripped. I’ve tripped and fallen off the wagon. I was so proud of myself and for the first time in my life  I went 6 weeks straight to the gym. I’m still proud of that and I know that it can be repeated. With Bryan’s new work schedule, and me going back to work a couple nights a week, it got tougher for me to make it to the gym. I really LOVED my morning workout routine! It’s so much harder to commit to evenings. I’m a tired mom. The ACE has helped tremendously with energy, but I only take it as needed for a boost. Sometimes, after dinner, I just want to snuggle up on the couch with my family. I’m still searching for the balance I guess.. perhaps I’ll never find it. But I won’t stop looking.

Two weeks ago, I stopped doing my challenges. I stopped posting a lot on all of my Facebook pages. I stopped drinking my water. I stopped taking my supplements. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped eating well. I stopped making good choices. I just…. stopped. I have no idea why. Every day was a different excuse. Why is it that we know exactly what to do to get healthy and lose weight yet we are constantly sabotaging ourselves??

What I’m taking away from these two weeks is this: I’m ok with the stop and go as long as the ‘go’ outlasts the ‘stop’. Eventually, the ‘go’ will win and the ‘stop’ will no longer be a burden to me. I’m going to overcome this. I’m going to fight. I have to.

I started a couch to 5k program. I’m on Day 2! I’m really proud! I plan on going to the gym at least 2 more times this week. I’m going to try to do the 80/20 eating clean rule. Avoiding sugar is my biggest problem. That will be my focus this week and I know I can do this!! I have an online ‘dietbet’ I’m trying to win!!! We have a week left and I have to weigh in at 197!! YIKES! In December alone my weight has fluctuated NINE FREAKING POUNDS!!! I was 198 a few days ago… yesterday I was 207! seriously. What. The. Fuck?!

I need to remind myself that I just had a baby 3 months ago and a 2nd one at that. My body still has not fully gone back to normal, my hormones are still out of whack, my sleeping is not consistent, and my stress levels are elevated. All of these are stacking the cards against my weight loss. I just know that if i get through the next month or so of this struggle.. the weight is just gonna melt right off!

I’m so sick of this struggle but I know the end results will be worth it times a million! I’m staying positive, focused, and as motivated as possible.

Pray for me.

♥Leanna

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