My Baby Daddy Dilemma {and it’s not what you’ d think}

baby daddy.
I know that some people cringe at the phrase, while others are apathetic. It started out as a joke. At 25 years old, I was unwed, in the middle of college, going bar hoping with my friends, having fun, but at the same time in a very rocky relationship, and not in a stable place in my life.

I was not sure at all where our relationship was going. We broke up and got back together far too many times. I was at my breaking point and decided to end things once and for all. A week later, he sweet talked his was back into my heart {I can smile about this now, he’s a charmer}. I told him this was the LAST time!!!!

One week later, I peed on a stick.

I was on my bedroom floor, shaking. Crying. Hyperventilating.

I called him. He said… “so what are we going to do about it”. I said, “I’m doing this with or without you”…. and he replied with a “well… I’m on board”.

We moved in together a few months later. It was great! We grew closer than ever, experiencing the new lessons of life as they came to us. We developed a new sense of maturity and responsibility. I began to see a side of him that I only saw glimpses of in the past. He became more than the hilarious, fun-loving, sweet-talker, that swept me off my feet. He was about to be the father of my very first baby. A man that I was truly in love with. Someone who I wanted by my side, as my best friend, forever.

But the jerk still wouldn’t put a ring on it.

Now let me just say that we are pretty hilarious people. We love to be silly and joke around. So when he or his family would be introducing me to new people, instead of saying “girlfriend” when I was clearly pregnant, he would laugh and say “baby mama”. The same went for him. He was even programmed in my phone as “baby daddy”. Everyone thought it was funny! It took the tension away from the fact that we weren’t married and starting a family. However, recently I’ve been hearing some negativity about the phrase. Never directly to me. Perhaps passive-aggressively towards me. But I’m still learning that not everyone thinks its funny. In fact, offensive.

I have so many different opinions on being married and having children, I don’t even know where to begin. I personally do not feel that it is necessary. Do I want to be married? YES! I want that so badly. It’s special to me. To me, it’s a statement of our love and our bond together. It will make our family whole. I can’t explain it. Will we be a whole family without marriage? Absolutely! There’s just something special about proclaiming it to friends, family, and God. Will Bryan and I get married one day? Yes! He just hasn’t asked me yet.


I know he wants what I want too. We’ve talked about it numerous times. We’ve just done everything a little backwards. Baby 1. House. Baby 2. Job promotion for him. I’m now thinking about the possibility of being stay at home mommy. And its not as simple as going to the courthouse. We want a WEDDING! We want a party! We want to dance and drink and celebrate our love, preferably on the beach.

Here’s what I’m getting at. We are happy, in love. We are a stable family unit. We are committed. So, what do I call him?

Boyfriend? Boyfriend to me, does not do him justice. He is so much more than just my boyfriend!!! It also brings up the question of whether or not he’s the father of our children.

Baby Daddy? Funny to some. But then brings up the question of whether or not we are together. He is so much more than just the father of my children.

Partner? hmmm… might confuse people.

Fiancè? nope. no ring.

Husband? no. Although, since working at a snobby restaurant, when personal life get’s brought up, I’ve been known to say husband just to avoid “the look”.

So you tell me. What am I to do?

I love him. He loves me.

He’s our love.



4 thoughts on “My Baby Daddy Dilemma {and it’s not what you’ d think}

  1. Call him whatever makes you happy and whatever he likes to be called. If you really want make people think call him your soul mate, the love of your life, or your best friend. Lots girls have husbands, but it doesn’t mean they have all that.

    Or you could just call him your man

    We did things a little backwards too-baby #1, jobs, baby#2, bought our first house…….then marriage…….then in my 30s I went back to university. Our daughters were actually in our wedding. Lots of people I know did things the ‘proper’ way-college, marriage, house then children-and many of them are long divorced. There is no ‘right way’ just the right for you and your family.

  2. I feel you! I mines so much: then u think will it ever happen people get comfortable. One day goes into the next! One month in to the next! Then one day. One year to the next several! If u get comfy? Does it ever feel like the rite time?

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