My ‘Best Me’ Journey

January 1st.
The day we all resolve to live better, healthier, to be worry free, live in the moment, save money… and lose weight.
Losing weight is such a battle for me. I’m certain a lot of people can relate.
It’s the yo-yo, falling off the wagon, I’m such a failure, ok now I’m motivated for two weeks, disaster of a mind battle.
I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired of being fat!!!!
Today my boyfriend told me not renew my gym membership. It’s an annual membership where they take out $30.81 each month. He honestly was just being logical so I can’t blame him for hurting my feelings. He didn’t want me to waste the money. I did use it a lot last year, just not consistently enough to make a difference in my body. So when I confronted him about how it hurt me he said that I should just do stuff at home and outside when the weather gets nice. That sounds great and all but I’ve tried it all before. He said what make this year different than last?
He’s right.
What makes this time any different than the millions of times before?
I get motivated for two weeks and then something happens. I get sick, Brynlee gets sick, I miss too many days and I say ‘why bother?’
Why is the universe against me!?
I have all the tools. I know how to fuel my body. I know I need to control my portions. So why have I been struggling for over 10 years!?
I can’t handle it any longer. Him not having any faith in me is the last straw. I WILL prove him and everyone else wrong. I need to remember how this feels and keep this fire inside of me. This is no longer a new years resolution. This is a resolution to change my life.
I plan to document my journey and share with you the ups, downs, and cold hard facts about my body and lifestyle. It’s time to get very real with myself. I will cry, laugh, blush with tremendous embarrassment, and triumph. One day I WILL be the me I want to be. The very best version of me is in here somewhere. Here I go!

•My first plan is to not diet. They don’t work for me. My plan is to simply eat less. I have a food addiction. I love it.., too much. I need to truly feel my body telling me when it’s had enough, and stop.
•Fat isn’t the enemy. Sugar is! I will eat healthy fats and avoid sugar. When they take away sustainable fat energy {ie: light or fat free foods}, what do they add? Sugar. Look at those labels!!
•Drink lots of water 🙂
•Move my body! Stretch every day. Commit to the gym at least 3 times a week to start and if something comes up- pop in a 20 minute DVD, or do some crunches before I take a shower. I want to run a 5k- heck I’d love to run a mile without stopping! I have not done that in … 5 years! Ok.. so that’s my first goal. Run a mile! Yay!
•Forgive and love myself no matter what. I can do this. But I will have bad days. I will want to give up, because history repeats itself. They key is to not give up. To keep trying. To always believe in myself when others don’t. And when I’m walking on the beach this summer with my boyfriend.. to look him dead in the eyes and say.. ‘I told you I could do it!’

This journey will take time. I accept that. Too often I want it too quickly and maybe that’s why I fail. So I’m allowing myself the entire year to see what happens. I will try not to obsess over every pound, but on how I feel.

Ok, I can’t believe I’m about to tell you all of this but I said I want to get real.. and if you saw me, clearly Im overweight …so here it goes.

I’m 28 years old. 5’5″
At my last doctors appointment about 3 weeks ago, I weighed in at 205lbs- with my boots on! lol 😉
My lowest weight was in 2006. I was 21 and 155.
When I got pregnant with Brynlee in 2010 I was 178lbs.

20130101-222412.jpgThis is Bryan and me at the Color Run last summer. I’m at around 195 in this picture. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t keep up. It was a simple 5k and I just couldn’t do it. 😦

Now this was taken in 2008 when I went to Vegas for my best friends birthday bash! {so fun} Anyway, here i was roughly 160. The sad part is that I thought I was fat then, and now I’d give anything to look the this again. 😦
Ideally I’d like to be in the 150’s again.
How long will that take?? I have no idea. I think I need to set small goals.

Thinking around 8lbs a month sounds reasonable.
February 2nd-199
March 2nd- 191- run a mile
April 2nd- 183- run a 5k
May 2nd- 175 – pre pregnancy weigh just in time for our 5 year anniversary on the 11th❤
June 2nd- 167
July 2nd- 159
August- GOAL 🙂
Maybe more maybe less.. all subject to change based on how I feel.
Wish me luck!


6 thoughts on “My ‘Best Me’ Journey

  1. Leanna,
    I am right there with you! I am starting today, I am 220lb. and I want to be at150lb. pre two baby weight so my goals are close to yours. But I am only 5′ 1″ so I look a lot fatter then you, You don’t look like you are 205lb. (with your boots on! LOL) at all so you hide it well. I wish you luck my friend! WE CAN DO IT!!! Happy New Year!

    • Hi! hope you see this Val. just checking in to see his you are doing. I ended up becoming pregnant as soon as I started ‘my journey’ so it was put on hold. I haven’t gained too much weight. I’m 39 weeks pregnant- he’s almost here!!! I currently weigh 219. I will be staring my journey again once we get comfortable with a good routine/ and nursing. 🙂 hope you’ve had some success and if not, it’s never too late to try again!!

      • Leanna, Just wanted to get back to you and let you know I have not had any progress with my weight loss. 😦 My 3 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD explosive behavior disorder and epilepsy. I also have a 16 month old daughter. So between tending to all of there needs and taking my son to all kinds of Dr a and specialists and trying to get him on the right meds and getting him under control. There is no time for myself at all. But trust me when I get this all together I will do it!

        Congratulations on your soon to be baby boy! I wish you well and a easy delivery. ❤
        Thank you for thinking of me you are truly a kind person. 🙂

      • Oh I’m so sorry! it will be a long road, but try to find a good balance in your life. take care of you too! get a pedicure or a massage or just find a moments peace through all the chaos. when they are in bed at night, step outside and unplug for a few- that always makes me feel good. Gives me time to reflect and count my blessings even if I’m overwhelmed with it all. I wish you all the best! 🙂

      • oh! and you should just look into the relationship between food and ADHD. Specifically the link between gluten/grains/sugar. *sometimes* all they need is a different diet and they are a changed child.!!!

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